It was Emmitt Smith’s stint on Dancing With the Stars that made his ex-wife, Pat Smith, realize she was missing something. She was happy for her husband but she couldn’t resist her thoughts: “This is not fair… I was getting more and more angry and more and more resentful because I was not fulfilling my own dreams. It caused friction.” Pat, the first runner-up at the Miss USA 1994, pressed pause on her television and acting career in Los Angeles. She moved to Dallas, committed herself to a family life—a devoted wife and loving mother of five. However, just months after their 20th wedding anniversary in 2020, they decided to part ways.
Things were fine until they were not. Emmitt and Pat Smith dated for three years before they tied the knot in 2000. Pat was fresh off of her first divorce, and for a person who has witnessed her parents being married for 30 years or her grandparents for 60, she felt every bit of shame as she packed just one suitcase, not knowing that she was leaving to eventually divorce comedian Martin Lawrence. Months later, she met Emmitt. This was despite her therapist warning her against rushing into a new relationship. “Take it easy,” they said.
But the star RB left very little up to fate. In fact, he gave her every phone number possible to keep in touch. It was exciting at first, but when 18,355 yards later Emmitt Smith retired in 2005, cracks in their marriage had already begun to show. In 2020, when they finally got divorced, Pat said, “Of course, I love cheering my husband on every week. I miss that excitement but after about 7 years, 8 years, you start to go, ‘Well, what happened to me? Who am I?’” Emmitt supported her throughout, “He always says, ‘Babe, I’ve never stopped you.’” And truly, there’s no stopping Pat!
Five years on, on her official Instagram, Pat reshared a clip from The Mel Robbins Podcast featuring Mel Robbins and Jay Shetty. Robbins and Shetty had words of reassurance that clearly resonated with Pat. Shetty said, “What I would like you to remember is that you’re not stuck, you’re actually grieving a past version of yourself. There’s a part of you that’s died, that you left behind a long time ago—but there is a part of you that still misses it.
“You still want things to be the same, you still want things that way, and that keeps pulling you back. And that’s actually blocking you from making the next move. And so, we’re stuck not because we don’t know what to do next—we’re stuck because part of us wants to hold on to what we have here. There’s a beautiful Zen teaching that says, ‘What’s holding you back is what you’re holding on to.’ What are you holding onto that’s holding you back?
“There is an identity, an idea, a mindset, a behavior, an attitude that is keeping you held back. Once you let go of that—once you open and release your hands—all of a sudden you feel free.” This powerful message struck with Pat Smith, who reshared the story with the caption, “This was me… WAS!!!”
In another story, she also shared a quote by Goldy Waiting that read, “You are about to know why you went through what you did. You are about to look back and understand.” Through these posts, it’s evident that Pat has been navigating a journey of healing and personal growth since her divorce from Emmitt Smith.
Pat Smith felt overshadowed by the celebrity status of Cowboys legend Emmitt Smith, and in the 2016 reality series Mr. & Mrs. Smith on the Oprah Winfrey Network, Pat Smith pulled back the curtain on a deeply personal journey. The show became her platform to reveal the emotional cost of setting aside her dreams to support Emmitt’s rise and raise their family. Through raw honesty and vulnerability, Pat began reclaiming her voice, shining a light on the sacrifices so many women make behind the scenes.
“I wanted to be an actress. I wanted to be a talk show host,” Pat said in an interview on Joel Osteen’s Sirius XM show in 2016. “I built resentment. I built frustration. I will be honest, I was very jealous of my husband, because I felt like, everything happens for you, and I’m here in the background, but what about me?”
Pat’s heartfelt admission on Instagram about holding onto the past captures the emotional struggle she may have gone through after the divorce.
Pat and Emmitt Smith: A look at their split
Emmitt Smith, who played for 15 seasons in the NFL as the league’s all-time leading rusher, made the announcement of his divorce from his ex-wife, Pat Smith, through an Instagram post.
“We are publicly sharing that after much contemplation and prayer, we have decided to separate. Also, we will continue to move forward with love and compassion for one another, as co-parents and friends,” he continued. “We will work together in the best interest of our children, our family, community, and business. As we take this journey toward the next chapter in our lives, we ask for privacy at this time,” he wrote in his post.
Before going their separate ways, the couple celebrated their 20th wedding anniversary in April. They share five children: Jasmin, Skylar, Rheagan, Elijah, and EJ. Jasmin is Pat’s daughter from her previous marriage to actor-comedian Martin Lawrence. Rheagan is Emmitt’s daughter from a previous relationship with ex-girlfriend Hope Wilson.
Emmitt Smith, who holds multiple NFL rushing records, including 18,355 yards and 164 touchdowns, also co-founded the charity organization Pat & Emmitt Smith Charities with his ex-wife.
“The way we see it, with the resources we have, the things we’re doing are not necessarily for us. We’ve benefited because it does feel good doing it. But yet we know that ‘to whom much is given, much is required.’ That’s just who we are,” he remarked.
According to reports, the organization had served over 150,000 children by 2017 through the distribution of funds and scholarships, leaving a lasting positive impact on the community.
